My crappy version of Snow White.
Once upon a time, there was an ugly princess called Shit Black. Shit Black had a wonderful ugly step mother. Her stepmother gave her everything she wanted but she thinks that her beauty was too overwhelming for her gifts. She was so unhappy till she ran away to a house with young, tall and handsome models in a huge bachelor house. The house was so magnificent and clean and she was all alone because the models were out mining for biceps in the gym. So, she sang and all the animals came in and destroyed the house.
She became hungry. She cooked a soup that made her barf all over the house. Then, a soldier of the palace arrived. He was given an order by the queen to bring her back to the castle but Shit Black refused. She punched and kicked him and took out his heart, more so put it in a white cloth to be sent back to the queen.
Back at the palace, the queen is devastated to see her secret lover killed by her step daughter. The king could'ntcare less because she was on a very expensive contract wih him that could make the king rich forever. She grumbled to the king about his daughter, and wanted to take her back into the palace herself to ground her for a week in the dungeon with only entertainment,food and anything else that she needed. The king was confused. "I hate her. Do whatever you want lady, I just want your money" says the king.
So the queen went into the kitchen to bake some homemade applepies to help persuade her step daughter back into the palace. Then began her journey to find her long lost brat.
In the bachelor's house, Shit Black was caught red handed while stealing one of the model's diet cokes. It was the model named Grumpy. She then introduced herself to the seven models. The models were Happy, Dopey, Stupid, Dumbass,Lame, Vain and Grumpy. Stupid and Dumbass were twins. They were so annoyed by her disgusting behaviour that they threw her into the kitchen and locked her there. "Make sure nobody hears her. Lock her uptight so she can't escape"says Dumbass. "Yessss..we need her for desert.. Muahaha" laughs Dopey. They were blind perverts! Shit Black was so scared she tried to dig her way out with a small spoon and screamed like a wild kayote. Then, the models went off mining for biceps again.
*Knock* *Knock*
Shit Black's thinks her stepmother was at the door to save her! She yelled and screamed like a lunatic.
Then, came in a prince. The prince was tall, dark and hot. He came in the house and smashed open the door. Shit Black was amazed at his strength. The prince was carrying a bunch of poisoned chicken wings to lure animals for hunting in the woods. Shit Black was very hungry, so she hurriedly took two chicken wings and ate them like a wild beast. The prince wanted to stop her but she was just too ugly and he thought that she should deserve to die. Shit Black started to choke on the piece of chicken wing."why..WHY are you here? I trusted you." says the princess. "HAHA. I came in here only to see if there was wild animal I could catch for the big feast back at my palace. Instead I found you. An ugly princess from the west. HAH! We only met for 5seconds. What is there to trust? I think my masculine body's just too hot." Says the prince while skipping off into the jungle with his basket of poisoned chicken wings.
Sooner, the models came back from the gym only to find out that the princess was dead and surrounded with dead flies. "I guess the flies is even scared of her face!" laughed Vain. The hot models laughed and dumped her body into a cardboard coffin surrounded with poison torns. Then they went to the market to pick up some other hot babes.
The queen arrived. But she was too late. She burst into tears and was under depression. She cried at her step daughter's coffin, stuffing her face with her home made apple pie. Then she started to puke on Shit Blacks body which is now super smelly. "*sniffs* Although she was such a brat, we still had something in common.. she.. she..was ugly like me!" the queen cried uncontrollably.
While scarfing down soya sauce with her hard boiled eggs that she brought, the whole bottle went down the princess's throat. The princess started to puke out the poison and was alive! The queen was extremely happy and brought her back to the palace to "ground her".
Shit Black lived a lonesome life alone with her parents, wants her revenge over the hot prince and she has boycotted chicken ever since.
-The end-
*I'm so proud of myself for writing something so long! -laughs- But now I'm actually lazy to re-read it again to check for spelling errors, ecetra. =.= I tried enlarging the words in the post too but the words ends up sticking together.
I shall end with a picture of me, my grandma and my older sis. Am I doing the suductive pose? HAHA. no way, man.
-With ♥,Charissa Ong Ty
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Sunday, June 22, 2008
